a petty problem
by reddragonbluescarf
Summary: John does not like bored consulting detectives. So he goes (with an unwilling sherlock) to buy a pet to stop the uld be seen as Johnlock but no pairings really. First fanfic. Now finished. please r & r! :)
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Hey, um, this is my first ever fanfic and it would be great if you could review! :) This was actually inspired by my little brother's spelling homework (weird I know), the words he needed were: our, are, their, they're, there, your, you're, obvious, reason and bored. So, here you go- I hope you like it! (it has a bad start but I had no idea of how to start…)

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Chapter 1

We begin **our **story with Sherlock and John in **their **cosy little flat, 221b. These two **are** the best of friends, and **they're **always found by each other's side. One day the blogger decided to buy them both of them a pet. This was due to the fact that he was constantly being bugged by a **bored** detective, and was worried for the safety of the walls… ( he didn't want any more bullet holes in them.)

"I'm going out." He announced to Sherlock, who was flopped on the couch in his usual way, accusingly glaring at the ceiling. His body-language was screaming out his boredom.

"I know that," Sherlock replied, half listening, "**you're** wearing **your** coat and have just put your shoes on. It's **obvious**." He eyed John then returned his gaze to the ceiling.

"By stating that it means that you probably want me to come along," Sherlock made a small noise of disgust for the idea,

"Also, your hands are constantly returning to your pockets, and return **there** to keep check that you have your wallet. You're buying something big, expensive. Recently I have been on your laptop – mine's upstairs, too far away – and your history shows that you have been researching small animals and looking after them. You are going out to buy a pet. You want me to come along to help you to choose one but John; I am not interested in pets, nasty, messy little things that are a waste of time. If you are looking for a companion, you have me," Sherlock's eyes flashed with hurt at the thought of John wanting a new friend,

"-or you could be buying one to keep me entertained, rather than shooting the wall. I can't shoot the wall anymore because you hid your revolver in your room (under the mattress) and probably don't want me to find it (like I already have), so there is no point in being worried. It won't be too long until Lestrade finds me a case, and, if things get that desperate, Mycroft can give me one. Therefore, there is no reason for you to buy a pet."

Stumped, John stared at Sherlock in disbelief. A few seconds later he shook his head and laughed dryly.

"Look Sherlock. All of what you said may have been true, but I think that a pet would be a great idea-"

"-No." came the instant reply from the body on the couch.

"Sherlock." John sounded determined as he crossed his arms and straightened his posture into Captain Watson.

"We are going, whether you like it or not. Get up and let's go. Now." His commanding voice had an effect on Sherlock. Begrudgingly, the detective hauled himself into a sitting position, glaring at john, though none the less obeying the army doctor's orders. Dragging his feet like a scolded child, he shrugged on his coat and put on his scarf as slowly as possible, hardly believing that he was actually going out to buy a pet, because of John. The said blogger was attempting to hurry Sherlock up unsuccessfully, hopping from one foot to the other in anticipation. As Sherlock finished, he practically dragged the sulking detective down the stairs to go and get a cab.

And thus Sherlock found himself seated in a cab, going to buy a pet, with John. The cab journey was a short one, and Sherlock remaining silent, determined to make John feel guilty for pulling him out of the flat for such an unimportant reason. John seemed unfazed by Sherlock's silent treatment, staring out of the window contently. As the cab halted, John paid the driver and stepped out, a light smile playing on his lips. Sherlock, on the other hand, exited the cab with a stormy scowl on his face. He shook his head, dark curls bouncing, as he caught up to John who had begun to walk down a small street. They walked in time with each other, matching paces. The immediate area was quiet, surrounded by nature. Nature in abundance. Trees lined the street and hedges were growing out, attempting to reach the two men as they passed. Ivy curled up walls of buildings and up tree trunks. It was a beautiful street, in its own little way. John breathed in deeply, taking in the fresh air. He appeared to know where he was going.

Soon they came to stand at a white washed house. They stood for a moment, Sherlock deducing everything that he could. 'Well looked after, caring owner. Probably female, flowers on window sill and in hanging baskets. Middle aged. Lives alone… sells pets.' He glanced over at a huge, white-grey cat that was strolling along a red brick wall. It had a tartan collar and was attempting to remove it. 'Recently acquired a new pet. Cat. Probably became attached after rescuing it.' He thought. 'John knows her. Old friend?' John looked over at Sherlock, still smiling gently.

"Ready to go and get a pet?" he asked.

"If I must be, then yes." Was the reply from the now slightly interested detective.

~ End of chapter~

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Author's note: So, there is a thirteen-year-old's first chapter of her first ever fanfic. You like? Please review. Hope you enjoyed! Should I continue? Tell me!

-reddragonbluescarf


	2. Chapter 2

Authors note: ohmygoddd! Thank you so much for following! I hope you like this chapter, im writing this on my windows phone in the middle of a field...

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Chapter 2

The interior of the house was in great contrast to the exterior. The walls had a strange wallpaper, of all kinds of animal skins, from tiger, to snake skin, to giraffe. There were several potted plants around, holding flowers not unlike the ones outside. Sherlock glanced around, though couldn't see much due to the fact that they were still in the main hallway, which frustrated him greatly.

John was talking his life away with the middle aged woman, whom he still hadn't bothered to ask for a name. They had been in deep conversation for approximately 5.29 minutes now. Why couldn't they just walk and talk? Both of them are capable of multi tasking...(he hoped.) Sherlock watched the two, a strange...feeling in his stomach. The middle aged woman was far too close to John, he thought, and was practically rubbing against him. 'old girlfriend then.' he thought, with a hint of annoyance.

Suddenly he was whisked into his mind palace, to fight this green eyed monster and to force it back into the tiny cupboard under the stairs where he kept the rest of his emotions. Why did it get out? He pondered as he left his palace.

As he resurfaced, John and the horrid ex-girlfriend were both staring at him expectantly. What did they want? Deducing time. 'obviously a question that I need to answer. Their body positions are facing towards the corridor. Oh good! We can move on! I have been zoned out for a while. I need to answer...'

"Yes. Come on then." He said, acting impatiently.

The woman whose name Sherlock still didn't know lead the way down the corridor, John pacing behind, not as close Sherlock noticed smugly. 'so he dumped her...' They turned a sharp corner and were lead into a large room, lit by led's that contained several glass tanks and some unknown creatures that lay inside.

Sherlock stalked over and pressed his nose up against the glass of the tank.

"hey, Shirley, what's in those tanks?" John queried.

The detective's head snapped up at this. What? Why would John call him that?!

"John I am flattered by your attempt of flirting with m-" Sherlock began,

"Sherlock." John interrupted, sighing, " Have you even been listening this whole time? I wasn't talking to you!"

Sherlock turned around quizically to see the girl who now had a name almost burst into a fit of laughter and glared daggers at her.

She calmed herself then informed them that there were several types of reptiles and arachnids. Shirley then left the two boys to look at the animals whilst preparing the others.

"so sherly..." John grinned, and paced over to him. The blogger had a huge grin across his round face. Deciding to ignore the mockery, he pointed at the long, legless reptile, which was currently dozing under a heat lamp, scales shining.

"An anaconda, a large, non-venomous snake that are normally found in south America." He watched the beast slither up to the glass as the doctor shivered.

"we are most definitely not getting that as a pet." John slowly paced up behind Sherlock nervously.

"you don't like it? It's so beautiful..." the detective said dreamily, gazing at the diamond-shaped scales that were glinting in the light.

"Weird." John frowned and walked to the next tank, of which was covered in webs, making it's contents not easily visible.

"I wonder what's in this one..." he murmured, then leapt almost ten feet in the air, yelping as a huge tarantula appeared at the glass. Sherlock almost burst into fits of laughter, but settled with a low chuckle. John looked at the taller reproachfully and calmed himself down before having another look at the hairy arachnid.

"it's so freaky...who would want one of those as a pet?!" Sherlock smiled lightly.

"I would." John stared at him in horror. " and I'd call it jim." the look momentarily turned quizical, then the blogger chuckled at the reference to the consulting criminal. "his web was so intricate, and like silk..."

"but he's gone now, right?" John queried. In reply, the trench coat clad man nodded, nothing more was said on the matter.

Shirley wandered back into the room, pausing at the silence that hung heavily in the air, and tried to break the fast forming ice.

"we can go and have a look at the other animals, if you'd like." she chirped, hair bouncing around her shoulders. Both men nodded in sync and she giggled in a high pitch, annoying Sherlock to no end.

The next room was cosier than the other, and contained several cages of birds, all chirping in shrill voices. Shirley wandered past the cages, pointing out different birds whilst John appeared to be interested, Sherlock saw how he wanted her to stop going on. They halted by a cockatoo, its snowy plumage ruffled gently.

"this is a nice bird." John calmly stated, enjoying it far more than the spider.

"it would be a great pet," Sherlock piped in, a happy tone that surprised John, "i could use it in cases, send it into crime scenes, then it can repeat the dialogue of the criminals. Of course it may get horribly killed..."

Shirley cut in straight away, angered by the tall man.

"If you're going about them that way, never mind!" she exclaimed. The parrot repeating "never mind! Never mind!" after her as she dragged the two out of the room, into her garden, leaving them to look at the animals there, storming into the house and promptly shutting the door.

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Authors note: Well, this is weird… I was planning on finishing this somewhere else. Oh well. I'll upload every Tuesday, so, until next week! Sorry if this isn't as good as the first, I was being distracted by my so called friends… :P

-reddragonbluescarf


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Oh god." John commented with exhaustion in his voice as the door slammed shut. His brows furrowed as he stared Sherlock down.

"What? I thought I was doing something good and complimenting the pet…" A confused detective replied, hugging his arms due to the cold breeze. The blogger merely sighed in reply, knowing that trying to talk any sense into him was out of the question. Slowly John looked around the garden; it wasn't as well kept as the inside of the house, though several ceramic pots lined the edges, filled with more flowers that matched the ones from the front of the building, as if to hide the small weeds that lurked behind. Food bowls littered the space, some filled with pellets of a grassy composition whereas others were filled with what looked like dog food. A few shelters were organised along one side of the garden in various shapes, sizes and materials. The only animals visible at present happened to be a couple of rabbits (reminding him of bluebell…) and quite a few pets of the feline kind. As john turned back to Sherlock he noticed that the detective was entranced by a sleek, black cat that looked very intelligent and was sitting staring straight back at Sherlock. They held their gazes for a moment longer, then both simultaneously flicked their heads away in the uttermost disgust, the cat pacing over to a smaller, sandy-coloured cat and facing its back to a greatly annoyed detective, sat back down.

"Tsk, the nerve of that cat." Sherlock muttered under his breath, turning to john who attempted to stifle a laugh, however, failing miserably. The taller man had a face like thunder and could clearly not see the humorous side of things, sharply questioned, "What?" in a dark voice.

"The cat," John chortled, "it was just like you!" He finished, then chuckled a little, shuffling and pulling his coat in closer. 'no wonder there aren't any animals out, its freezing!' he thought to himself. When he saw how Sherlock was looking at him, he decided to continue, for the fact that he didn't want the detective to see that he was internally cursing his choice to go without a jumper. Even though Sherlock had probably worked it out already… "I should probably go to, uh, apologise to Shirley about the thing…" Sherlock curtly nods his head; john hesitantly walks over to the door, and knocks on it. A minute later, Shirley's face appeared at the door and upon seeing john, her face shifted into a smile, despite the fact that she was meant to be angry with them both. The door opened wider to allow John in though imminently closed after, denying admittance to Sherlock. The detective found this preposterous and proceeded to storm around the garden. Whilst pacing, something caught his eye. Stopping to get a closer look, Sherlock crouched down…

John was just in the task of apologising to Shirley, in deep conversation with her when a shrill voice called out, filled with excitement and wonder.

"John! John! You have to see this! John, it's the perfect pet! John!" The blonde paused in mid-sentence and looked at Shirley.

"You don't have any really dangerous animals here, do you?" he queried, afraid of what creature Sherlock had found lurking in the back garden. In reply, Shirley shook her head just as the door flew open to an overly excited Sherlock, who was jumping up and down like a little child.

"Come with me! Come and see it!" Sherlock exclaimed, grabbing john by the wrist and hauling him down to the bottom of the garden. The only thing that exists down at the bottom of the garden is a little hut that is approximately the size of a watermelon, surrounded by a small pen. No animals are in sight. Shirley slowly walks up behind them, smiling to herself and looking at a bewildered john.

"What were you going to show me Sherlock? There aren't any animals here…" Sherlock looked at john incredulously, as if he was the most stupid organism on the entire planet.

"Obviously it's in the hut John." Sherlock explained, lifting the roof of the hut with great care to not disturb what lay within. John craned his neck to have a better view of the contents, anticipating which beast would take Sherlock's attention so fully. Shirley just stood behind the two of them; awaiting john's reaction to what she knew was coming. As the lid was put on the ground next to the hut, John saw a small animal, its back covered with rows of pointed, sand-coloured spines, with enormous black eyes and a little furry snout tipped with a button shaped nose: A Hedgehog.

John's face contorted into a thoroughly quizzical look and Shirley burst into laughter, clutching her stomach. Sherlock grinned at john, waiting for a realisation that didn't come, therefore he explained to john.

"It's just like you! And look, it's even the same colour as your hair! It's so perfect!" The detective couldn't even explain his excitement at finding the right pet to john, so settled for grinning madly at him whilst Shirley was gasping for breath, but agreed to Sherlock's statement: john was just like a hedgehog. John was unimpressed.

"Always the hedgehog." He sighed, scowling.

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**Author's note:**

Sorry that this is a bit late, I was out all weekend, and didn't have much time to write. I'm so bad this… :P I hoped that you liked this, please review to help me out, I always like to know what I can do better! See you next time!

-reddragonbluescarf


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

John was not amused, in high contrast to the other two. His mouth was set in a hard line and his eyebrows rose as he let out a huge sigh. The deep blue eyes of his were focused on Sherlock's, whose looked like that of an over excited child, delighted at his discovery of an animal that looked identical to his companion. The creature of which, stretched out; it's brown, pointed spines flexing along its back. A Hedgehog, really? John thought, memories of being called a hedgehog in his younger years flooding back to him. I don't look that much like one…do I? Sherlock bounced up onto his feet with shining eyes and a grin on his face.

"John, we have to get it! It doesn't cause that much mess, we can afford it and it's adorable!" Sherlock announced. John was taken aback, Sherlock Holmes calling something adorable? No. Undeterred, he remained stoic and straightened up.

"We can't get it Sherlock, this kind of pet needs to have an outside environment so it can't live on the flat." At this, the detective's brows furrowed.

"You forced me out of the flat to get a pet. Here is a pet." He gestured to the small bundle of spines that had now decided to have a stroll around its pen after being so rudely awakened previously. The curly haired man had clearly set his mind towards this small creature becoming their pet. John was stood stock still, disliking the fact of this decision. Shirley awkwardly tossed her hair and coughed nervously.

"Ahem, if I might have a word?" She queried and both men started, partially forgetting her presence there. Sherlock merely stared at her with a slight air of disgust and John nodded his head vigorously, muttering something along the lines of 'of course' and 'go ahead'.

"Well," Shirley began, in her high voice and cheery smile, "I think that a hedgehog is a great pet!" Sherlock smiled at that, in an 'I told you so' way at john, who in reply rolled his eyes. "However, as John said, they do need an outside space to be able to roam." This was john's turn to smirk in triumph at Sherlock, whose grin was immediately wiped off his face. "Therefore I believe that you should choose a different pet, maybe one that inside or something, though I'm sure that you've already seen just about every kind of pet here…" She trailed off as the two looked at each other uncertainly. A moment passed as they considered what to do. Sherlock was clearly set for purchasing the Hedgehog as a pet whereas John was clearly not going to let him. John licked his lips before looking up at Shirley

"Would we be able to have another look inside at the animals in there? For pets that are more suitable for a flat." The blogger asked. As a reply, Shirley curtly nodded her head and led them back inside the flat. Sherlock resumed his previous attitude of annoyed and dragged his feet back to the house, reluctant to leave the Hedgehog. As they stepped into the warmth of the house everyone smiled, they hadn't realised how cold it had become outside and were grateful for the warmth of indoors.

The next few hours went by rather uneventfully; Shirley flirting with john, much to Sherlock's annoyance, as they circled around the cages and tanks a second time though nothing in particular caught either of the boy's eyes. As they finished their second round, they still hadn't found a suitable candidate. John sighed as they approached the animal print wallpaper in the main corridor. Slowing to a halt, the shorter turned to face the other.

"…Nothing?" John questioned. Sherlock's eyes found his as he shook his head slowly. Shirley tilted her head, curls falling off her shoulders and she leaned on the wall. John sighed again in defeat.

"I'm sorry Shirley, I don't think that there's anything here for us…" John told her regretfully. She looked up at them, understanding.

"Oh, that's ok! If you want to come back again any time you're welcome to." She chirruped and smiled. Sherlock said nothing, and instead walked to the door, awaiting john to follow him. The shorter slowly paced up to him, closely followed by Shirley as they opened the front door. The consulting detective and his consultant both stepped out whilst Shirley bid them farewell, pecking John on the cheek and solemnly shaking Sherlock's hand. The two waltzed down the street at a brisk pace, for the weather was still cold and a bitter wind ruffled their hair and bit at their cheeks. Sherlock hailed a cab and as they got in, noticed that John was still miserable at not achieving his goal.

"It doesn't really matter that we didn't get a pet." He stated bluntly as John looked up quizzically. Sherlock smiled lightly. "Mrs Hudson probably wouldn't have allowed it anyway." John's eyes widened and he nodded his head.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to ask her…" John started though didn't continue and so left an awkward silence between them. It stretched on for some unknown amount of time.

"…Though you really did look like that hedgehog…" Sherlock attempted to engage conversation with a straight face and serious intentions as his eyes grazed across John's for a second. Simultaneously, they both burst into a fit of giggles, laughing with each other. They may not have been able to purchase a pet, but at least there weren't any more bullet holes in the wall.

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Author's Note: Well, that's it! I'm SO sorry for missing a week but I was busy with homework and other things in the weekend…Sadly, I guess I have to stop here…Thanks for reading my first fanfic, I really hope that you liked it! Until the next time (?),

-Reddragonbluescarf


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